The connection…

I thought I will never come back here again. Because whenever I felt like writing something, I went blank.

Now, I can’t believe I am writing this as my come back post. After a journey of 3 years of my life; pregnancy- miscarriage- pregnancy- childbirth- motherhood. My whole life took a stand still and all my creativity was dumped deep inside. Now that I recall, I remember I haven’t penned, painted anything during those times. Did few doodles during my pregnancy out of boredom. But that’s it.

• 

It was weekend, people had gathered at our house and enjoying the feast. As usual I am liking it that least. I tend to fall for silence in a crowded place, even if the crowd is my own like my family and relatives. She wat I somehow still managed to give it a smile and enjoy. Few moments later, I decided to get plum cake and distribute in the occasion.

The cake Shop was next to my house so I booked the order and came home to get money. But the Shop keeper gave me the entire cake loaf instead of the two pieces that I had ordered. Generally, I return such stuff but this time I kept it. This was unusual.

I return home to the ladies and their endless discussion of what to with the leftover rice from the dinner. I was insisting everyone to eat the cake and forget about the rice. I see my sister and aunt feeding a child and I go over them to offer the cake ignoring the ladies with the left over rice. 😉

And the rest I don’t remember…

Few days later, I m sleeping and my hubby comes to me and asks wats wrong . I nod my head for a no. He insists on reacting for whatever he did to me; and he came running towards me to give me a punch in the stomach. I clench my first and tilted my face but never took my hand to stop him. That bothered him a lot.
As I lay there motionless, I hear him being upset about me not eating and talking to people. He was coversing with his dad about how unhappy i was and how no one notices it.

“Something is really wrong with her paapa…I can’t see her like this.”
“When I tried to fake hit her, she dint even stop me. After confronting also she won’t utter a word. I m really worried.”

He was very upset and dis-hearted. It was somewhere in the middle of the nigh, he decided to call up couple of people and not to sit it out. He got a reference from his pal to a Psychiatrist.

He takes me there the same night and as I am conversing with the doc as to wat had happened… That is when I realise that I don’t remember as to what happened the last weekend. So doc decided to hypnotise me . And she starts the process and I remember having a miscarriage the previous weekend after the family get together. (As a fact, I knew about my first miscarriage even before doc confirming about it with a scan)  I scream at the top of my voice and I notice my 15 month old baby next to me screams the exact way in her dreams.

As i cuddle her and sooth her back to sleep I question myself, Is there a connection with the mother and the baby…?! I hve heard so, they all say so. I knew about the physical connection though But this kind of subconscious level connection! That too the reverse way. I m stunned! I have heard mother waking up before the child waking up for the night feeds but nothing like this.

It still stays as a mystery as to wat happened to my kid in her dreams. Did she feel my dreams too? She is still recovering from her shock while I am penning this down.

I have always had a special connection with my dreams and subconscious mind. But this one shook me off from the ground below.

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Overworked

If your,

Lips are locked,

Hands are booked,

Minds are blocked,

You have; OVERWORKED!

View from the Third Eye

“The third eye (also known as the inner eye) is a mystical and esoteric concept referring to a speculative invisible eye which provides perception beyond ordinary sight. In Hinduism, the third eye refers to the ajna, or brow, chakra.”

Not everyone will be able to see things beyond ordinary sight. You need colossal magnitude of imagination and creativity.

My Buddy, Tilak #bluphoton took this picture of an ordinary edible “Poori Unde” as we call in Kannada, sweet made out of puff rice, Bengal Gram and Jaggery.

This incredible photo reminds of the thing that defines you in this universe.

CREATIVITY

“Creativity is a Process of the Soul; it does not need an outcome or a product for the world to accept. It needs only the truth of its own expression. It comes from within and makes of your world whatever you wish it to make.

Don’t be afraid of your own creativity, honor it!

It doesn’t always have to be seen or approved by those around you. It’s an expression of your deep itself and it belongs as much to you as it does to the universe.

All creativity is not for everyone to like of understand. All Art is not up for sale. Some creativity has a bigger role to play. It is to keep you company when you are alone. When you need a friend, when the world doesn’t seem to understand you, your creativity will be the only thing that will keep you inspired and satisfied.”

Honor it to the end!

Photo Credit @bluphoton

Perspective

Three things cannot be long hidden, The Sun, The Moon and

The Perspective.

Point of view as a they.

I HOLD THE SUN.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/discover-challenges/perspective/

My Mind

The end,

Waiting for the end,

I want the end.

 

Done with the race of life,

Done with the competition,

Done with running away from people,

Done with the goddamn LIFE

Where is the PRIZE?

 

It hurts,

Hurts in the head,

Hurts in the mind;

Feels like putting my hand inside

And setting things apart

Where is the RELIEF?

 

Fail

In Thy mind, I fail.

In my mind, U fail.

@ The end, WE ALL FAIL.

Where is the SUCCESS?

 

Bewilderment and things left unsaid,

Created unhappiness

Understanding and things said to hear out,

Created Trouble

Where is the END?

 

Finding the beginning

The start of the loop,

At least THE END

 

Everything has to come to an end,

Sometime…

Waiting….

 

The end,

I want the end.

 

Image courtesy: Rebecca Bostic

I have an Angel with me, Do you?!

Angels leave signs to reassure, comfort and guide us. Signs can be simply to let us know they are present. They can also be answers to questions we may have asked and guidance to help us through difficult times.

Often, I have heard that these signs appear in unexpected places and times from unexpected people. You just need to pay attention to see them. A sign can be in many forms like, Feathers, Coins, butterfly, cloud, dream, sparkle of light, numbers, senses, sounds and printed.

I always believed I have an angel beside me. And I have felt it too. Today, I get a sign from my angel.

I was all geared up to launch my day at office. And I find this on my keyboard, A Butterfly wing!

 A Sign from the Angel.

These winged beauties are a special sign from the Angels. They can just flitter by or even spend longs periods of time with us. We can feel the gentle message of love they bring. Butterflies symbolize amazing change and transformation coming for us.

They are sign of Transformation…

And I am ready for one!!!

PS: You need not know about them. You just need to have faith that they know so much more than we do, and that they will show me the way…

 

 

The World War III – Happy V/s Unhappy

Everyone experiences an unhappy mood or an unhappy occasion, but there is a big difference between people experiencing a short time of unhappiness and people who live with it throughout.

Yes! You heard it right; there are people like this around you.

And, they are called Chronically Unhappy People.

These people are often afraid to admit it; most of their unhappiness stems from their own beliefs and behaviors which they often blame it on others esp., the very next individual available. Be it their best friend, a road side vendor, a watchman, a beggar, anyone for the matter.  They have negative beliefs and behaviors on each and everything available on earth.

I really, cannot handle these breed of People, for the reason that they always beg others for love, respect and attention. And, these are the things which you should earn by yourself rather than begging.

And notice that these CUP’s avoid solitude to the core. Being alone, means dealing with your own true feelings: fear, anxiety, happiness, anger, joy, resentment, disappointment, anticipation, sadness, excitement, despair, and so on. They can’t survive being alone, not because they feel cynical, but they miss out people, whom they can blame on for their feelings.  GET IT!

They constantly feel that the grass is always greener on the other side. They alone want to experience all the happiness in the World. If someone else is happy, they start cribbing about their life, not because they are not happy; but because the other person is happy. They never ever notice that the grass is greener under their own feet too.

Nobody is happy all of the time. And that’s a well known fact. So, stop cribbing about others being happy. They also do experience unhappy feelings; which they wrap up and toss it out, unlike you.

So just GROW UP and Move On!

Love yourself, and for god’s sake, stop comparing yourself with others.

Others may hold your happiness temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

Hopefully that gives you something for a better change.

 

Broken!

Broken–

We all have broken hearts, broken lives, yet we withstand all. maybe, that is what defines us!

Sometimes you break a thing in the right way, if you know what I mean!

A Moment in Time- Capturing the stills

Capturing the stills

It was a quite normal evening as always, I was wandering around in the chilling weather. Watching the stillness of the surrounding due to the chilled weather, all the things appeared unlikely.

The stairs, street light, flowers, garden, leafs, shredded leaves of the trees and everything around.

People often say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I feel you should have that inner eye to add to that beholder’s eyes who can experience the beauty of nature in everything around. This empowers to see those things which others barely feel the presence of.

These were the few clicks that took during that one fine day…

For people who are being deceitful and liars…

For- Blogging 101: Write to Your Dream Reader

Dishonesty, lying, cheating, betrayal, and you name it and it HURTS; whether experienced by your closed ones or you experiencing one by yourself.

The New YOU…

You Lie; always. I know that, but still I behave innocent. Not because I can’t face it, but not to put you in a difficult situation of facing your discomfort. But, eventually, I feel I am lying to myself by cheating on you and your thoughts.

They say Lying is done with words, and also with silence. You are doing the former one and me the latter.  Both are a part of this cruelty. Those who lie for you will lie against you; I don’t want you to be that person, and neither do I want to be one. So, please stop lying to me and passively maddening me to lie to you.

No individual cheats on others purposefully and of course, it’s done to hide a secret.  But what is the point in being unfaithful to the loved ones? And even if you are unfaithful, then you are no more a loved one. Hurt me with a truth, but never comfort me with lie.

There are things, which you think that I am unaware of. But you are the one who is unaware of the thing that I am aware of all those stuff that you are hiding from me, and those possessions that you are doing behind my back.

Big Or Small, Lies Are Lies.

Bear in mind that, never push a loyal person to a point where they no longer give a DAMN.

 

Life is Unfair Get Used To It…

You eagerly wait for a new life. You are desperate to remember the person who you love the most. Life & death are two side of the same coin. You never know which on you get to see when!

We all take things for granted; we never want to run out of anything; whether it is phone’s battery, water, electricity or home. But, we easily run out of HOPE. The things which are not under our control, we try to control them to the core. But the most important thing HOPE, which is always under our control; we never even try to think of it.

Why do we lose hope? Do we all really lose it? Or do we just ignore it? Do we really know, what hope is! Do we even want to know? We say we don’t have any hope, then how are we still surviving?

We lose our best friend, teacher, school, our granny, grandpa; we lose everything in our life stage by stage. But we all still lead our life. Isn’t that a sign that we all have hope left in us for something better?! But we still say we don’t have any hope in life.

Don’t you think misery is that greatest sign that we still have hope left. If you are sad about something that means you still believe in something; and you hoped for something better. Isn’t that the major reason for your despair? I always wonder isn’t this hope so much harder then despair? That we just feel hope is no more left in us.  I really feel Hope is a good breakfast but a bad supper.

When a man is in despair, it means that he still believes in something. That in turn means that he still has a hope that things will change and turn out to be what he wants, Doesn’t he?

HOPE

He was the only one left for me;

I thought I lost him forever & ever.

 

There came in a voice;

I am here, I am always in here.

Inside you, for you;

Till your last breath is here.

 

 

I moved on and on and on;

Thinking that, this is all I am left with,

Despair, Despair & Despair.

There came in a voice;

 

You are the only one who believes in me;

Don’t lose me now, later forever & ever.

 

He was the only one left for me;

I thought I lost him forever & ever.

 

By Akshatha

Photography- A love affair with life…

Quotes to inspire

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